Mary Lear had known Tobias Lear since they were kids in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. "Polly", as she was called, married "Toby" in April of 1790. The young couple then moved to New York City, where Polly's new husband was the personal secretary to the President, George Washington. When the President moved with the new government to Philadelphia (the new capital) Tobias and Mary had already been in Philadelphia making all the preparations for the Washingtons to move into the President's House.

Polly became a close friend of Martha Washington and they often took carriage rides together. Polly took over the details of the President's social parties or "drawing rooms", as they were called, relieving the burden from the First Lady. Polly lodged on the third floor of the President's House with her husband. It was there, on March 11, 1791 that she gave birth to a son, Benjamin Lincoln Lear.

In July of 1793, Washington wrote in his diary that Mrs. Lear was ill. Only two days later Polly died and became one of the first victims of the yellow fever epidemic that was soon to ravage the city. The President did not attend funerals because he knew, as President, if he attended one, he would have to attend them all. However, on this occasion, George Washington broke his rule and attended Polly's funeral at Christ Church. She is buried at Christ Church cemetery.

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